In the Mind of a ......

Cherish -- David Cassidy

2010-07-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could mold you
Into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you

Perish is the word that more than applies
To the hope in my heart each time I realize
That I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams
That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes
That I am not gonna be the one to share what seems to be
The life that you could cherish as much as I do yours

Oh, I'm beginning to think that man has never found
The words that could make you want me
That have the right amount of letters, just the right sound
That could make you hear, make you see
That you are driving me out of my mind

Oh, I could say I need you, but then you'd realize
That I want you, just like a thousand other guys
Who'd say they loved you with all the rest of their lies
When all they wanted was to touch your face, your hands
And gaze into your eyes

Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could mold you
Into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you
And I do cherish you
And I do cherish you
Cherish is the word

HaHaHa tears

2010-01-15T18:32:00.002-08:00

Maybe, I was never loved at all....

I began to think that I might be a "spur of the moment thing" to you..

A "better than nothing".

Well, it's okay.

I'm okay.

Happy Monthsary

2009-12-05T02:07:00.004-08:00

Learning to accept and love someone outside the family circle,
Opening me up so that I can treat you more than anyone else, as someone close, as a family..
Taking steps to understand you and be there to listen, and share...
Adjusting self to be more accommodating and demanding, to the advantage of both of us..

You're giving me the chance to be less selfish, and the chance to be more caring..
To give and to take...

Last but not least, I thank God.
For He has given me an angel by my side...
For your presence in my life has helped me to be a better person.

A month long of bliss...

❥ The heartfelt feeling from the bottom of my heart,
for Michael Arifin Poedji,

Happy Monthsary ❤
(04 Nov 09 - 04 Dec 09)

Feeling Insecure

2009-11-22T05:01:00.000-08:00

Knowing how unappreciated, and how imperfect I am in your eyes,
makes my insecurities the gun,
my jealousy the trigger,
your actions, the hands that hold all that together,
and you, my murderer.

Random Fashion Inspiration #1

2009-11-22T03:50:00.003-08:00

Random fashion inspiration...

Would love to wear these for an afternoon lunch/date :)

Items in this set:
Labour of Love top, 100 GBP
Seven For All Mankind jeans, 170 GBP
Christian Louboutin shoes, $1,335
Christian Louboutin shoes, $1,335
Balenciaga bag, 1,065 GBP

My Love Will Get You Home

2009-10-22T03:47:00.000-07:00

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

Einstein's Video

2009-09-15T02:11:00.002-07:00

Life Changes, Friends Don't.... Really?

2009-08-17T04:05:00.003-07:00

It's okay, because I know that I only mean something when you have nothing, and I mean nothing otherwise..

Congratulation on the friends you found and never wanted to share.

"Out with the old, and in with the new"

That's how I see it.

Hope they always bring you good and last for ever.

Maybe it will lead to something even better, even deeper with one of them :)

Happened once before, then twice, and I think it's gonna happen again..

Spare me.

It's my turn to smile and laugh and not share. It's time.

I thought you could have a part, but not anymore..

I will be happier.

I want to be like YOU and meet someone like ME.. To cherish and appreciate.

I think I deserve it.

Laugh

2009-07-28T20:32:00.002-07:00

Someday, when I have my own son, he will laugh with me like this :D

Chii's Sweet Home

2009-07-24T16:52:00.002-07:00

I love reading this..

Chii's Sweet Home

Cute, light, and heart warming :)

p.s: look at Chii's tummy when it's full ~aaw...~

Love Your Memory Tonight

2009-07-14T01:23:00.001-07:00

I don't want to see you or feel you
I don't want to look into your eyes
I don't want to touch you or miss you
I just want to love your memory tonight

I can't handle all this pain
All we ever do is fight anyway
Why we even tried I haven't a clue
With hearts involved
There's way too much to lose

You were something else to look at
Your intentions they weren't all bad
Tried to make me something I wasn't
Lord knows there ain't no future
In all that

-M.Lambert-

Who's Laughing Now

2009-06-13T11:25:00.002-07:00

Ever heard of the saying "Let's see who'll have the LAST LAUGH"??

Well, if people tell me that, I know how to counter-attack them..

"Those who laught the last, thinks the slowest...."

Hahahhaha..

Outta!!

2009-05-26T04:14:00.003-07:00

To all stupid people,

Let me help you once and for all....

There you go...

Feeling better already??

Goodbye to Love

2009-04-29T00:31:00.002-07:00

"What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song"

Goodbye to Love -- Karen Carpenter

No Party, No Happy Ending Between You and Me

2009-04-23T23:58:00.003-07:00

23:58 and no news..

A clever excuse earlier, so you can avoid..

The irony is, we're like a parallel line,
no intersection ever..
We just can't feel the same thing at the same time, or to want the same thing at the same time,
to meet at one point, and be mutual..

at least for a day..... today.

But, "today" is going to be over in a couple of minutes, so I guess..

We, love our ego more than anything else.

And so, I threw away the cake...

Two Types of Guys

2009-04-19T21:49:00.003-07:00

"I turn my head to the east, I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west, still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
Swallow that pill that they call pride"
(TI feat JT -- Dead and Gone)

And then, I realise that...

"There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared"
(Circus -- Britney Spears)

Hahahahaa!

<^O^>

\(^o^\)(/^.^)/

v(^o^)v

Sad Story from Email

2009-04-07T20:46:00.004-07:00

Someone sent me this email today...

The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23.
The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US .
Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours a day receiving medication.
In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care
of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.

An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.
The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see her son marrying his high school sweetheart.

Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube , listening to a song from her husband and friends

At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. The pain restricts her to stand up for long periods.

Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it lasts. We should stop making our lives complicated.

Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss passionately, Love truly
Laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
No matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
But as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

~~~

She was happy for only 5 days... :-(
But, at least, she was happy :-)

Can't Be Moved

2009-04-03T18:26:00.005-07:00

This spring is a really bad quarter for me... It didn't start right, it doesn't go right... and I don't know if it will end right.

Met some new interesting people, lost some precious ones...
Smiling and laughing when I turn right, have to frown and shed tears when I turn left..
Wishing for something good, and I get nothing good..
Wishing for nothing bad, and I get something bad...

Some say, those are parts and parcels of life.. I say, "give me a break..."

Thus, I have come to the point where I'm too tired to go on, again... Life is already hard as it is, and it is even harder when we have to keep on making people understand.. Why do we have to have a reason? Why do we have to explain? Why can't I just do things "just because"?

Advices advices advices.... I don't need all that!

What do you know? What makes you think you know what's good for me and what's not? How would you know what is best for me, when you're not me? Do you think you could shoulder the consequences with me if YOUR idea doesn't work like how you think it would? No you couldn't, you wouldn't too even if you could. For all I know, you'll be the one pitying me at the side shaking your head, with that look I hate so much in your eyes.

I seem to be running out of tears.
What a waste... I even forgot what I'm crying over mid crying...

I'll get over this soon, like how I always know that things like this get passed sooner or later..

It's just the moments like lately, the transitions, that makes it so hard to endure..

You Want Mine?

2009-03-21T02:54:00.003-07:00

My mom once told me to be wary of soft-spoken people... "They are like a calm water with alligators inside", she used to say.

~~~

I felt that you're more superior than me,
I thought that everything you have is better than mine,

I envied you,

I thought we could be friends,
but now,

I don't like you more and more, and I don't want to be as immature as you,

You can try to steal away what I have,
You can win it,
You can have it,
You can own it,

I don't care how you try to get hold of it, occupy it and make me the fool...
I don't care why, if it eventually chooses to be in your possession instead of mine,
I would be happy when it is happy.. cos that's the last thing I could still do for it..

I don't care if you're smiling a winner's smile or smirk behind my back after that..

Because I know I'm the one who's gonna have good night sleeps every night..

and you, will be the one who is lost....
not knowing what else to do after you got it all..

You will then find how meaningless your prize becomes... for the thrill never last long.

However meaningless it may seem, don't you ever break it apart, coz what means nothing to you, may mean the world to somebody else..

I believe whatever is mine will always be mine, if it's not meant to be mine,
then I don't want to have it anymore...

I Hate U / I Love U

2009-02-02T07:37:00.003-08:00

I was supposed to be studying for my Finance midterm, but as always, got distracted and ended up stumbling upon this (at Axioo's blog)

Nice isn't it?

And then this, one of the sweetest song I've ever heard

Church Day

2009-01-12T06:28:00.006-08:00

For the first time in my life, or as long as I can remember, Danny and I went to a Catholic church (we're Christian) at UW area on Sunday.

The whole experience was good, but I had awkward moments there as I didn't know how the process goes and I really wasn't used to any of it.

So, I guess it was fortunate for me to be sitting at the back of the church, since we came late too.

Firstly, after doing some singing while standing, the priest said something at the front and the people began to move as if they were going to sit down.

WRONG!

Only Danny and I were seated back at our own seats. The rest of the people were kneeling on the floor praying. Realised that we were being sore thumbs (because our heads definitely popped out very prominently compared to the lowered heads of the rest of the people on the room), I quickly kneeled down and tugged Danny, who were equally clueless down to the floor.

It felt crazily frantic for me and not forgetting, embarassing. As I said, fortunately we were seating at the back of the room. Not many people noticed. Mubor, the guy seating next to me (whom I know but didn't realise that I was sitting next to him), noticed for sure. (-_-")

Then comes the holding hand.

I saw the people in front of me began to hold each others hand. I thought, "only need to hold hands with the people we come with".

WRONG again!

I only held hands with Danny on the left while actually I'm supposed to hold hands with Mubor on the right too. Realising that mistake, and feeling stupid because somehow I guessed that Mubor felt that I'm acting like a stuck up for not wanting to hold his hand, I grabbed his hand like I wanted to elope with him and I grabbed too hard (nervous.. ha-ha) coz I could feel Mubor's arm stiffened.. lol.
(I wonder why Mubor didn't show any intention of holding hands with me first, not that I want to hold hands with him, but you know.. to guide a little?).

Then, the "peace be with you" part follows.

So much of doing the watch and learn method, I watched and learned wrong. After watching the people in front of me, I thought we were supposed to hug and give a kiss on the cheek to other people around us for the "peace be with you" moment. What I didn't realise is that the people in front of me were COUPLES!!! Husband-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend.

I opened my arms really wide to Mubor and plastered my face with a really wide grin (an awkward grin as I thought I would have to give him a peck too). OMG, I was going to hug him until he didn't move forward towards me at all, not even an inch, (and I think I almost charged at him with awkwardness). He looked at me with one hand across his chest and extended his other hand to me, then he smiled and said, "A handshake will do, peace be with you.".
oh my...... awkwardness.
PEACE BE WITH ME!

So we shook hands. Right, left, front and no back for me as I was sitting at the last row.

Not long after that, the service ends and it felt like "mission accomplished".

I Hate You

2008-11-27T04:28:00.004-08:00

Can't fall asleep coz each time I close my eyes,

I see you.

I hate you for depriving me of my sleep.

*

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it...

I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh;
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close; Not even a little bit; Not even at all.

courtesy of the movie "10 things i hate about you", which could sum up all the thoughts that's running crazy across my head everynight we spat.

*

To Cherish

2008-11-23T23:41:00.003-08:00

I thought the hardest thing to do in a relationship was to forgive and forget...

Now, I'd say,

the hardest thing to do in a relationship is to cherish what/who we have...

Because, like how the popular saying goes, "we never know what we have until we lose it".

It takes two to clap.

Touch My Body Korean

2008-11-20T14:12:00.001-08:00

This is sooo funny (n a lil' disgusting)

You Woman!

2008-10-31T13:28:00.002-07:00

I heard my sister called her boyfriend, after some chats then she said this loud and clear with her cute and adorable voice,

"Cook me some noodles, you woman!"

She laughed then she called him, "honey.." "dear..." "u there?"

Her boyfriend sulked like a mute hahahaha..

Identity Crisis

2008-10-27T00:42:00.003-07:00

OMG....

I was just talking to my sister about MIRC (which we used to use to chat online before MSN messenger), and how long ago it was and how stupid we were...

Then...

She said, "Hey, you know what, last time when I chatted with people on MIRC, I always send your picture when they asked for a pic..."

I was like, "WHATTT???"

She told me, "I was thirteen, and you were fifteen, and I thought fifteen is more appealing than thirteen... so I "borrowed" your age and picture... but I used my name though..."

x_x"

Omg............

Very embarassing.

Yoko Cutee

2008-10-25T20:15:00.004-07:00

On a phone conversation with Yoko just now:

Yoko: I cannot talk to Opine... I'm hurt *huh*

Opine: Why????

Yoko: I'm jealous.. Coz you're with that Benz guy... I know I'm only driving a Honda *huh*... I shouldn't have sold my B-M-doubleeuuuuuuuuuuu.......

**(Yoko asked me to add that although he's "only driving a Honda, his love for me is pure, his heart is too and that it is eternal", Wow... I'm speechless hahhaha)

LOL

Yesterday's trip was a blast!!!!

I had soooo much fun... *oooooohhhh wheeeeeeee*

He Said

2008-10-14T21:40:00.001-07:00

Then he said,
"Loving you was easy, coz you're so wonderful.."

Uwaaah

2008-10-11T04:28:00.002-07:00

My parents are no longer here so, comes Monday, I'm gonna start taking care of all the things I wasn't able to do while they're here...

Like reading my finance textbooks.

LOL.

Just kidding!!

I was feeling soooo tired when my parents were here, but soon after I send them off at the airport, I miss them already and wished that they would stay longer....

They're so goofy.. Very funny.

Also,

It's so nice to have someone cooks for you. I really love it when foods are on the table, ready to be eaten, when I come back home from somewhere hehehe.

Sucky Quarter

2008-10-06T21:41:00.005-07:00

Business ethic class is killing me...... Finance 342 is going to kill me once again..... Finance 344, no comment yet...

This quarter is definitely a bane.

SAVE ME!!

><_><

SO EFFING IRKSOME!

2008-09-15T22:28:00.004-07:00

The more I look, the more I'm disgusted...

Some people are so effing irksome!

Jordin Sparks may say "living without you is like living with no air",

BUT,

I say, "living without you is like living WITH FRESH AIR!"

Ohhh... sssooo freeeesssshh!

***

Damn u a**hole, I know what you're getting at.. If you think I'm a stepping stone, so sorry, you're mistaken, I'm the slippery one. One wrong step will make you fall so hard you wished you had never stepped on me at all.

Just so you know, YOU are the stepping stone.

Dried Plums and Bruises

2008-08-24T01:36:00.005-07:00

I wanna share something good.... or bad... depending on the situation you are in.

This thing!

This is not an advertorial of any sort, just plain review from yours truly.

I love the taste and texture of it :p

I've heard people saying how good dried plums (or some may call it prunes) are to our digestive system. I even had an elderly relative (had, as he passed away couple or more years back) who relied on prune juices to help him *ahem* defecate.

I just did not know how effective it is until I gave it a shot.
Man!! You know what?? It works like magic.....

I eat a lot. Not a lot of the dried plums, but a lot of other things...
All kind of food, junk to five-star. I eat.
Squatting at the roadsides or sitting pretty applying every etiquettes on the table. I eat.

So, the first time these dried plums worked their magic on me, I thought it was due to my heavy eating. I didn't pay much attention. Just felt that I kinda cleared my system better than without the dried plums.

Then, comes the day when I did not consume a lot of food beforehand. But I had quite a lot of the dried plums.

It was around 1pm when I ate them. 4 hours later, at around 5pm,

I sprinted to the bathroom.

I had a blast in there.

Not only that.

I had the runs for the rest of the night. I constantly went in and out of the bathroom every few minutes and it gave me weak knees.

I practically had to be near the bathroom all night.

It has absolutely nothing to do with bad food or what, it IS the work of the dried plums. I know, because the next week after that, I ate the dried plums again, and the whole toilet-stomachache catasthrope happened again.

The dried plums, are that GOOD!

Perfect for people who constantly suffer from constipation. Other than that, dried plum is enjoyable only in small amount. Eat them moderately.

Oh, by the way, I still love the dried plums and still eating them as snacks. But I limit myself to two or three pieces a day. That, does not give me any shenanigans in my system. *lovelove*

***

The last airsoft battle gave me the most and most painful bruises. A really big and beautiful bruise on each thigh and few smaller ones on each knee and each calf. Three small ones on my right arm. None on my left arm. One medium and beautiful bruise in my right side torso too.

The big and medium bruises are beautiful because of their shape and color. Really interesting. They're like green, blue, purple, coral, pink, and red. Just like a rainbow lol.

Well, they look ugly on my legs... Bruised legs are never nice. But, the individual bruise itself is pretty.

I think I have learned to appreciate the beauty of bruises LOL.

Besides bruises, I got myself some insect bites as well. The mosquitoes on the jungle are huge! I don't know what bit me but they sure left big bumps on my skin. I got one really big one at the back of my neck. Two huge ones on my left calf.

And, they're freaking itchy!!!!

Lastly, my forehead got so pimply I wanna know how to get rid of them badly...
Any help?

Candid by Reine

2008-08-05T05:02:00.004-07:00

I was assembling a newly bought laptop cart (or table, whatever, the box said "Laptop Cart", but (intelectually speaking), I don't think it resembles a cart in any way) AND also, watching TV at the same time..

BTW, girls/women DO multitask! And we're better than the men are.

Then, later on that night, my sis showed me the pics she took while I wasn't aware...

Watch TV... Table/cart still unfinished.

OMG.. What was I doing at the last picture??

Summer Ending

2008-08-01T20:20:00.002-07:00

I m beginning to love summer and it has to end already...

I am so bored. It feels like I'm the loneliest girl in the whole wide world.

I need a muse *wink*

Name Yell

2008-07-26T14:14:00.002-07:00

Don't you just hate it when people yell out your name and said something you couldn't really hear because you're on the other side of the house?

Don't you just hate it, even more, when later on, the other party confronted you with an angry tone and look on their face because you didn't reply them like they expected you to, even when you're not in the least possible position to be able to?

I HATE IT.

I HATE IT VERRRRRRY MUCH!

I was in the shower, blissfully cleaning and pampering myself, and then my DOLL (a.k.a sister) started to call out my name and "tell a story", which of course I replied loudly through the walls and closed doors "Can not hear youuuu.."

But she still keeps on going, yakking by herself.

I ignored her.. Well, what else to do?

Then, a couple minutes later, she walked into the toilet, angry, and starts to yell.

"You are so annoying, I'm calling you and you didn't answer... bla blabla.. I want to show you things on the computer blabalabla.. I don't want to show you already!!"

Then she got out, slamming the door behind her.

Whoaaa... Can't she wait until I'm done and out of the shower?

By the way, that actually reminded me of a "childhood experience".

Here goes,

It was one fine day, I was younger (forgot how old, but definitely a single digit age) and I was "busy" with something (forgot what I was doing since it was a looong looong time ago). And then the Empress (a.k.a Mom) called out my name.. A few times, probably in a row..

I replied her with "Yes?"s and "Yeaaa.."s.

Wrong reply. Reaaaaallly wrong reply.

Because, Empress came to find me, shouted in my face, and smacked me everywhere. Arms, back, butt, thigh, arms again, don't remember if cheeks too, anyway, anywhere she could land her palm on me.

With such high smacking speed.. It was stinging like crazy..

I ran and of course cried... maybe from the shock. Never know LOL.

Still furious, my mom screamed, "Anak gak tau diri!! Dipanggilin berkali-kali bukannya nyamperin!! Kalo gw lg jatuh ngejedak mau minta tolong, sampe keburu mati juga loe gak tau kali!!!"

Literally translated, it goes like this --> "You ungrateful child!! I called you many times but you never come over!! If I fell and hit my head and need help, I would probably be dead already and you still won't know!!!"

Geez, scary I tell you.

She kept on going, telling or should I say, WARNING me that the next time she calls my name, I'd better be rushing over to her.

That's what happened the next and the next and the next (an so on..) time it occurs.

Each time my mom called me, "OPIIINE..", I would stop and drop anything I was doing, replied her with "Iya mami aku kesana" (trans--> "Yes, mom I'm going there") and RAN to my mom to see if she needs anything. I do not exaggerate. I really did say those exact words.

Sometimes she needed help, but some other times, I think she took me for granted. Well, that will be another story for next time (maybe, hahaha).

Dad, who were sometimes around when this happened, always laughed at me. And he seemed to be unable to control himself from teasing me. Tsk Tsk, super annoying.

Whenever I was with him and Empress yelled out my name, I would do the things mentioned above, and Dad would laugh, made a mock sad face, and with a distorted voice would say "Yes, mommy dearest.." just to tease me. Me! His own flesh and blood, who may be suffering from an obvious trauma. (okay, the last part about the trauma thing was a little exaggerated).

"Yes, mommy dearest..". My Dad didn't just made up this phrase. It was actually taken from an old time movie titled (if I'm not wrong), "Mommy Dearest". The story is about this famous actress who was very conscious about her own image who adopted a girl and later on, a boy, but she likes to abuse the girl so much.. like a way to vent her anger and frustration. In the movie, the girl always answer "Yes, mommy dearest" to the actress mom and sometimes in front of the paparazzi too, and thus, from there, my dad's phrase to tease me was born.

Heartbreaker

2008-07-12T05:20:00.002-07:00

I totally felt like a heartbreaker last night......

Sorry.

I'm sure you'll find a better one soon :-).

The Way I Am

2008-07-04T20:38:00.002-07:00

I love this song, "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson.

The Way I Am

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.

You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Behind in the Race

2008-06-29T17:17:00.002-07:00

I'm soo left behind in the race!!!

My friends are populating the world already, and I'm still stuck as a....

a......

a.........

a............

student . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A student who still has a long way towards graduation and not possesses even a hint of a partner in the near future!!!!

~sigh~

Miss My Family

2008-06-27T15:06:00.002-07:00

I was browsing through some old photos and all of a sudden... I miss my family soooo much.. :~)

My sister is so cute :)

Missing Ngkong

2008-06-27T14:27:00.002-07:00

NO HP

2008-06-26T21:00:00.003-07:00

My handphone is DEAD!

Never thought that living without it could be pretty hard....

Kayaking Again

2008-06-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

Today I went kayaking again!

*SO VERY HAPPY* **giggles**

Kayaking

2008-06-23T21:05:00.003-07:00

I went kayaking yesterday and I love it!!!

*paddle paddle paddle paddle paddle paddle paddle paddle*
*breeze breeze breeze breeze*

WHEEEEEE!!!!!

Addicted

2008-06-12T14:07:00.001-07:00

Weird-->Cursed

2008-05-29T10:16:00.004-07:00

Weird.... So weird.

How could it be that each time anybody asks me if I will be attending class tomorrow, on the night before, and even though I answer with a full confidence: "Yes! I will", I usually ended up waking up waaaaaay AFTER the class began??

Asking me the question "are u coming for class tomorrow?" seems like a taboo already...

I'm pretty sure that there's a curse behind those words.

Please don't ever ask me that question. I'll tell you IF I'm PLANNING not to come.

Missed class again.....

Tsk!~

Being a Juggler

2008-05-26T19:12:00.002-07:00

This morning I woke up

and

BAM!!

I just realized that I'm actually an expert juggler.....

blaah~

Linden

2008-05-20T21:46:00.003-07:00

Just a couple of days ago, I felt that living in Linden Sq (my apt) was pretty nice.. Firstly, I have gotten quite comfortable with my unit and secondly, my downstair neighbour is playing violin in the evenings...

Very very very beautiful and comforting.

And then today,

Two days later after having the thought above.... I change my mind.

I think I live in a rough neighborhood..

About 45 minutes ago I heard some yelling from both a male and a female... It got louder and louder..

A quarrel apparently.

Then I heard some running, some banging, more shouting and now the female began screaming.

The screaming was different from when you watch horror movies or when you were surprised by your extremely idiot friend who was hiding behind a wall..

Idiot b'cause that friend will surely got hit by my voluntary, and spontaneous act of smacking

The scream was like when you were going to be hit by somebody (probably a large, scary looking man like Hagrid in Harry Potter).

After that, more yelling (male), more screaming (female), more running footsteps and more doors banging... Then I heard my neighbor from the unit downstair (probably the violinist) opened her patio door and shouted "Heey, what's going on up there??"

For a second, I thought it was like a scene from a TV.. LOL.

A typical American line.

Of course, nobody replied her... But the whole ruckus stopped.

I wonder what really happened up there...

And, btw, have I mentioned before that I have heard some neighbors were having a loud sex and maybe they forgot to close tight their windows?

Ooh yeaaah... The noises they were producing were everywhere for everyone to hear.. Some other neighbors shouted other typical American lines (just like in the TV) at them too.

TIME TO MOVE OUT!

Deception Pass

2008-05-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Finc 342

2008-05-15T22:21:00.003-07:00

My FINC 342 class is soooooooooooo hard!!

I dont know how to do the homeworks AND the cases.. I just don't know..

Totally CLUELESS!

I missed class a few times.. and boy! It doesn't really matter if I'm there or not.. Even if I'm physically seated on the chair inside the classroom, my mind is still absent.

It's as if I go to school but left my brain at home... Probably left it laying on the table, (or bed, more likely)

Anyway.. I got a problem with people who sits and then, shake their leg...

It feels like an earthquake, I tell you!

So, there's this guy in my class..

According to Daud, he's Thai, and actually older than he looks.. (He's married too, for goodness' sake).

Me, being the normal self, always late..... I walked into the class and, voila! one empty spot. I settled myself there, beside that Thai guy.

The lecture was supposed to be interesting, I guessed so since my professor was very energetic and full of life when he was explaining the scribbles on the whiteboard. But, to me.... with my brain forgotten at home, the lecture sounded like a bed-time story.....

I was trying reeeeaaaaaaalllyy hard to keep my eyelids up!

I tried every means and ways....

I ate sour candies to help me stay awake.

I had like an almost unlimited supply of sour candies.. Don't you just love Starbursts' Sour?? I ate those until the ceiling of my mouth hurts everyday...

I was popping the sour candies like some rockers popping pills.

Then, comes the point where the sour candies have reached their maximum potential to keep me awake.... My sleepiness had built a certain immunity towards all the sour candies I have in my bag.

I was falling asleep on the table. Beside the Thai guy.

Suddenly, I felt the tremor...

I jolted. Looked around and realised that Thai was shaking his legs vigorously...

Hmm, now that I think about it, is it possible that he was shaking so hard because he tried to hold his bladder?

Anyway, I became annoyed and smirked to myself.... However, something unexpected (at least to me) happened. Instead of making me awake, or at least, alert, the tremor actually made me even sleepier........

It feels like somebody is rocking my "bed" and singing "Rock-a-baby".

*YAWN*

To Care

2008-05-07T16:42:00.003-07:00

To care = To be stupid

I was being really stupid the whole time..
Especially stupid since the beginning of this year :-\

I care with sincerity, and I'm being taken for granted..

When you talked, I listened and responded, even though sometimes I didn't quite understand what you're saying... I'm being supportive.

When I talked, you seemed to be listening but you never responded.. Instead, you talk about your things...

I will not talk unless you're asking me.

Looking at you now, I don't even have the confidence to tell you my secrets anymore...

MOH and Ironman

2008-05-05T22:20:00.002-07:00

MUST WATCH MOVIES:

Made of Honor

and

Ironman

Just go watch them..

Don't Know

2008-05-02T00:01:00.003-07:00

I, just don't know what to do.

Algorithm March

2008-04-27T17:24:00.002-07:00

Doll and I found something really cute on YouTube...

Watch this.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Yeaa.. It was cute.. Doll and I were going "ooh.. ahh.. haha.." then the last part made us gasp in unison..

Trust Own Intuition

2008-04-26T22:07:00.003-07:00

Knowing something which may or may not be true can sometimes (or always) cloud our judgement about others...

In my case, I chose to believe my own intuition..

Why?

Because, if in the end I got it all wrong, I would only have myself to blame..

I know that it's not my right to have, but somehow I kinda expect everybody to think and do the same too.

Backstabbers

2008-04-09T20:07:00.004-07:00

Oh dear.... It's the year 2008 already and I can't believe that there are still some people who are acting very juvenile!!!

CALUMNY!

Have I ever told you how much I hated calumny??

You think we're still in high school or something? People are not stupid, blind, or deaf you idiotS!! (Plural is being used here as it concerns two pathetic individuals..)

Say whatever you want and people will get to the truth sooner than you expected.. And must I add that, it's NOT AND NEVER going to be in your favor.. (HA-HA too bad you poo-poo!)

And also,

Stop making a fool out of yourself!!

Don't assume that the person you're lying to was born yesterday... That person may know more (much more) than you do..

Keep your imagination to yourself, don't go around telling people that you did what you never do..

Bummers...

***

On a happier note, I love my Philosophy class!! *GRIN*

Webcamming

2008-03-27T00:29:00.005-07:00

It's my spring break and I have nowhere to go, nothing better to do, and nobody to actually talk to..

So, decided to make some use of my also lonely and idle webcam ;D

OMG! I'm so bored!!

Shooting Range

2008-03-25T22:00:00.005-07:00

Have I ever mentioned it to you that I used to be in the air rifle club when I was in secondary school?

Well, it was my CCA and so I was in the school's air rifle team.. It's been years since I last shot anything (not that I've shot anything else besides the paper targets, lol)

Anyways, today I went to the shooting range, somewhere in Bellevue, with my sis, her bf and Mesum.. heehee..

Although the place was dull, it was very exciting!!

The blue-man paper target ;p

Look at my footwear..
So sexy! Heels paired with guns.. LOL!

Doll is so cute!

This kind of reminds me of the movie starring Nicholas Cage, "Lord of War".
Great movie, love it!

Mesum hahaa..

Spells F-U-N!

That's my favorite T-shirt... and oh, btw, I got it from the male sections.

I love boys' t-shirts. They're so comfy!

Pike Place

2008-03-25T00:02:00.002-07:00

Went to Pike Place Market a couple of weeks back and took some pictures.

In case you're wondering, I wasn't using the toothpick to pick my teeth.

I'm using it to pick on the delicious chicken gizzard.. YUM!

40?? You Must be Kidding!

2008-03-24T01:07:00.004-07:00

Don't you just hate it when you're in your prime and people think that you are about 40(!!)..... and with kids(!!!!)????

*ROAR!!*

I'm furious, angry, annoyed, super mad, and so pissed!!!!

burning with rage, rage, rage, and more rage.....

419

2008-03-23T00:59:00.002-07:00

Things we do at 419!!

all that and many more while the main purpose of going to 419 was to do our group project :D !

It is Sunday and I'm at Home

2008-03-02T16:00:00.002-08:00

Guess what am I doing as of now...

I'm blogging, watching Kill Bill Vol 1&2, and wondering why the tulips Alex bought for me for my birthday seems to be growing.... True that it would be wonderful if the flowers we buy continue to grow after some period of time, but what seems to be the problem here is that the tulips are already dried up. How could it not dries up when it is placed right in front of the heater?? Right?

Anyway, the tulips seems to be longer than before and it is sticking out of the vase.... Wasn't like that when it was fresh.

Pheew.. I like Kill Bill Vol 1, still watching the Vol 2 but I guess I'm liking it too... Do they have Vol 3?

I watched Grindhouse: Planet Terror last night and it made me as sick as a drunk... Talking about trashy, it is one for you... I hate the part where Quentin was going to rape Rose and he found out that his member has turned blobby (and dripping like "ugh"..). Tasteless.......

***

I love tom yum soup. I made myself a pot for lunch today *giggles*.

P***k

2008-02-19T00:37:00.002-08:00

That little word hurts so much when you heard it coming out from the mouth of someone you care about.

My Fascination with a Flying Man

2008-01-26T17:00:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching the first season of Heroes (yeah, don't tell me, I know I'm late). So, anyway, if I were to choose which hero I wanna be, I, would pick Peter. And I would try to find, meet and be friends with the other heroes so that I can "absorb" their power too. Ha Ha Ha.

So cool!

However, after watching the show, I have this thing going on about men who can fly... like Nathan. Unfortunately, the flying man's ability is to fly O N L Y, and nothing else.

If a flying man has super strength too, he would lose his mind right away and decides to wear a tight blue (maybe latex) suit and a bright red underwear (probably made of latex as well) outside. And oh, he would add the matching red cape to shield his back from getting burnt by the sun while flying.

Anyway, to put it simpler, when there is danger, a flying man like Nathan could fly instead of fighting the villains to save his ass, he can avoid getting bruised here and there and also, do not forget, that he M A Y leave me behind.

That really sucks.

But.....

A flying man is very sexy... *drool*

HAHAHHAHAHA

2007-12-14T04:37:00.000-08:00

This is very hilarious!

I love www.engrish.com, visit for a good laugh over something REAAAAALLLLY STOOOPPEEEED

*boinkboink*

Find Me at Facebook

2007-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

Facebook's taking over!!!

Guess what else I've been doing besides sudoku and solitaires?

Poker Texas Hold'em at Facebook!!

Facebook is fun!

I Can't Feel the Heat from My Heater

2007-12-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

I finished reading a book ("Empress Orchid" by Anchee Min) about three hours ago... and then I spent the three hours after that with Facebook...

Gosh! I think Facebook is really fun!

I was up early today.. in shock.. (It has something to do with blood.... and being female.. ugh!)

Planned to go out but had to cancel it due to heavy snowing... I hope it will snow until next week or at least till Wednesday hehe.. Many school stuff I don't want to face just yet..

Uhmmm... What shall I do now? I have a research, a presentation, and homeworks, AND quiz for Monday, but I'll procrastinate them till later tonight or maybe tomorrow.. Blame it on the snow. It makes me want to stay in the couch under the blanket and do nothing all day...

I'll do Sudoku.

The Universal Language

2007-11-29T17:07:00.000-08:00

You know, sometimes you listen to a song and suddenly you feel like (phew!) that, is the song for that moment in your life?

My most recent songs (the last three) were:

Avril's When You were Gone missing like crazy.. first time feeling losing someone
then it shifts to...
One Republic's Apologize made me realise that I was the one at fault

theeeennn now it's...
Rascal Flatts' What Hurts the Most I saw this coming :'-(

Got the last one from Cass' blog..

Just Can't Help It

2007-11-28T23:51:00.000-08:00

Why would I want to have feelings when the only thing I can feel is pain?

Why should I be sensitive when it hurts and scary to be aware of every single things "thrown" at me?

Why is it so hard to mask my own emotions?

I guess that's because I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

Sadly Ilu, have always been, unawarely; but come what may.. :-)

Wishing for nothing else but the BEST for you and the BETTER for me and that the GOOD memories stick on our minds always...

LitToC

2007-11-20T22:13:00.000-08:00

Call me crazy... But, hey, I've got nothing else to blog about... So here's another trailer of the movie Love in the Time of Cholera...

Enjoy... and watch it! Why? Coz I like it! Haha.

How Long Would You Wait for Love?

2007-11-17T18:04:00.000-08:00

I went to watch a movie yesterday... and I'm LOVING IT!!

"Loving in the Time of Cholera" ----------------> cheesy title, I know.

But I love the film! Amazing amazing amazing....

See the official site here. Make sure you see all the trailers..

If my wedding night is going to be like the scene above, ...I'm not gonna step out of the bathroom, I'll stop breathing and have severe seizures in there... Which girl could stand her newly wed husband (let's not forget that he's a dashing, sophisticated doctor) naked under the blanket with that killer expression? SCARY AAARGH!

You know.. Even Fermina (the female character), before she steps out from the bathroom, told her husband, "Turn off the lights. I want absolute darkness..".

Haha intimidating like crazy there...

I have one quiz and one midterm tomorrow, so I'm trying really hard to study, but I keep on hearing "fifty-one years, nine months and four days, that's how long I've loved you".

Ridiculous!

Watch the movie people..

Living Your Dream

2007-11-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

Have you ever watched YouTube and cried?

Maybe some of you did before...

Well, I rarely watch YouTube (until lately), and when I watch, I usually watched all the funny and cute videos.

But today, my sister showed me this one and I cried like an idiot!

It's so touching.... I'm gonna cry again..

Watch it.

***

It makes me wonder.... Why do they consider KIWI as a BIRD? (They even put the "BIRD" behind the name KIWI).

Anyway, point is, being able to achieve your dream, even if it's only for a few seconds and it takes your life away, it will be the happiest moment in your entire life.

Sleepy Kitten

2007-11-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

This is sooooooo cute!!!

The Joy Dies When (or since)....

2007-11-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

My Doll has a boyfriend...

Doll hates me when I "attacked" her boyfriend, and she would defend him so hard I would have to give up. But when it's the other way round, she wouldn't defend me... Instead, she would join forces with the bf..

tsk tsk

WTPIL?

Having people you care about telling you what a wonderful being some people are compared to yourself, again and again....

How would you feel after sometime?

I got fed up.

How about you?

Isn't it funny when you had a feeling that someone's been lying to you, and when you eventually figured it out, that person made it all seems like your fault?

Talking about being defensive (and in denial)...

Sick and tired...

I'm enjoying the peacefulness I rarely have nowadays..

Missing some.

My Papi and My Mami are coming!!

2007-10-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

My parents are coming tomorrow, so, I have to do a thorough (just joking) cleaning of my apartment...

I'm always lazy to begin cleaning my apartment (that's why I always try my best to keep everything in order, to minimize the unsightly mess, but please note, the word I used is 'TRY' ha-ha!). Anyway, I was saying that I'm lazy to move my ass to clean my cage, but once I got to it, I LOVE IT! And I mean it!

I cleaned my living room, my bedroom, my toilet (so sparkly I can't help smiling each time I'm in there), and tried to let the surface of my multipurpose table BE THE SURFACE AGAIN..

I'm doing things here and there and then I decided to wash my sofa cover. I loaded the whole cover plus the 2 pillow cases into the washing machine. About 45 minutes later I moved the load from the washing machine to the dryer. Then, I heard this clanking sound from the washing machine..

Guess, what is the worst thing that can happen after you loaded your sofa cover to the washing machine and let it work for 45 minutes? Well, of course, I'm talking about the other bad thing besides the fact that I'm going to have a hard time putting the shrunk cover back to the sofa...

Can you guess?

Well well well...

The answer is TO FIND YOUR DVD PLAYER REMOTE CONTROL INSIDE THE WASHING MACHINE !

How did it get there???????

Once I saw that remote inside, my mind was filled with horror flashes of how it was soaked with water, then being shaked inside that washing machine together with the sofa cover and the bubbles from the Tide detergent for a good 45 minutes.. Oh, have I mentioned that I used HOT water too?

It's a total mystery since I clearly cleared everything from my sofa..

In case you're not smart enough.... my remote control is dead and I'm sort of devastated coz having a DVD player without a working remote is like buying a car with no wheels.. You cant go anywhere... (the buttons ON the dvd player are only the on/off button, play/pause, and stop).

It so bizarre.... Remote control wanted a bath?

***

I watched this new reality show called "America's Most Smartest Model"... It's very FUNNY!!

Back to the Books!

2007-09-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday was my first day at Seattle U.. Very energy consuming!

Honestly, the biggest effort I put in was to fall asleep earlier than usual on Tues night (damn hard when your mind is still wide awake) and wake up (VERY) earlier than I normally do on Wed. My class begins at 7.45am, somehow I need to have at least 2 hours for me to get ready to go anywhere (from bed to outside my apt door), I have to pick up 2 friends, and the school is somewhere around the downtown area while I live up north.. Go figure what time I have to be up in the morning...

Fortunately for me, I have my good ol' Danny to send me and my other 2 friends on the first day, so I dont have to look for any parking spot hehee.

Sometimes finding a parking spot is soooo hard, you will start to think that it will be easier to dance for rain..

Moving on...

My first class for the day was FINC 340 (couldn't remember the complete name of the class), the class was full and guess what!

The teacher looks like a student.... a handsome student!

Being a total good looker like that, he could land a starring role in a teensy-weensy-highclassteenagers-drama, like the O.C or Gossip Girl. Yeah! Tall, tanned, blonde, muscles at the right places, and of course, nice set of teeth.

A better wake up than coffee (though I don't drink any) in the morning hahaha.

My second class was ECON 330... I'm not making this up, but, my teacher really looks like Hugh Jackman (yep! X-men's Hugh Jackman)..... in 10 years time.

Put Hugh and my teacher side by side on the street and the next-day tabloid will say "Hugh's Day Out with Older Brother!". The nose, the eyes, and even the hair parting looks almost the same..

My last class is MGMT 280, which turns out to be like an English and Speech class combined. I have no comments for the teacher except that he has this British accent..

My school day officially ended at 6pm.

***

Go watch Good Luck Chuck! I like it, it's funny!

Hahaha... GOOD JOB!

2007-09-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a song I thought really funny...

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she
can't shoot whiskey...

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick,
showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel
drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania
karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom
polo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel
drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No...not on me

'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel
drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...
Ohh... before he cheats...

Hahaha... Points absolutely taken!

I'm Being Cooked in My Own Apartment

2007-09-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am wondering why my apartment is so hot....

It's 61˚F outside, but feels like 80˚F INSIDE my apartment..

What is wrong? The heater is off, most lights are turned off, and the only electronics turned on are the TV and laptop...

So weird...

Digression:

I love CSI (all CSI; Vegas the most, Miami second, and NY last).
I love sudoku.
I love sushi.
I love my sister.

*BIG SMILE*

I love little kids...................

When they don't talk so much..... When they do talk a lot, my expression in the photo explains everything... haha.

I feel like I'm inside an oven... so hot!

Nah...

2007-09-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

Not good!

Weekend is approaching and I am blessed with this HUGE zit... Even worse is the location of the zit itself (somewhere around my chin).. It is officially successful in making a mess in my face and thus became a perfect material for jokes..

Went to Hooters with Pencenk & Co. today and he complained right 1 minute after we were seated.... He claimed -- "Darn! We got the fat and ugly waitress!" Hahaha.

Btw, there's this song called "Ay Bay Bay" by Hurricane Chris, totally weird and senseless song... Maybe some of you intellectuals could already guessed how weird and senseless the song is by just hearing the title. Anyway, I just heard from the radio that there's a female version of the song, and it's titled "No Way Way" (yeaaaaaah riiiiiighht).. The radio DJ said that the female version talks about how the women felt when they're being demeaned in clubs, faced with things like being pinched in the butt etc...

Senseless....

The Best Medicine --- (Laughing is Passe)

2007-09-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

There are 11 movies which I wanted to watch...

3 supermarkets where I wanted to buy my groceries from...

2 things I need to clean...

87 more sudoku puzzles I need to do to complete my 534 sudoku puzzle book...

2 things I'm hesitating to do...

1 thing I'm waiting for...

1 thing I wish I do not have to do...

And many more to add to the list...

For now, the 1 thing I WILL do is..... SLEEP!

Swindo event today was so tiring... I lost my voice as a result from all the shouting..

When You're Gone

2007-08-31T06:44:00.001-07:00

Balls of Fury IS funny, but I'm too depressed to laugh AT AND WITH it. I am hurt and somehow jealous for someone whom I do not want to be with... And for that alone I shouldn't be jealous at all.
Have you ever had the feeling when you didn't feel like going home yet but you have nowhere else to go? And no one to talk to? And so all you can do is venting all your emotion through the tears that flow heavily without warning even though you have tried so hard to hold it?
I have been missing in a lot of things... I haven't been told about a lot of things... And I have to find out about it the way I found it out... "cuddling"? are you kidding me?
I might have misunderstood it, but I am to proud to ask for clarification. What goes through my mind is just "why should I care?" but I do care........

Maybe I just don't want to know.. or maybe I'm too afraid to know...

I might be the most selfish person you've ever known in the whole wide world, and I am sorry for that. I guess it's just a sort of payback, isn't it?

OMG!
So hard not to look back, so hard not to cry over it.
So hard not to feel the lost, so hard to fight back the tears.

I'm at lost for words, I have nothing else to say. It's dark in here.

I don't like Avril that much, but her song which I heard on my way back home really touches me at the bull's eye. Ever imagined me getting into a car crash on I-5? Haha just kidding! The road was empty when I drove back home... The only thing I could crash into are the railings at the left side. Not too fatal... If it did happen, the only thing hurt will be my heart because my car will look damn ugly after that. My car is not that nice in the first place.. It will be like a big scar on an ugly girl's face... SAD understand?

"When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus] When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

Isn't that nice? Dedicated for you, Danny, someone I care about.. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you anything more... I understand your attitude towards me nowadays.. Good Luck with the person you're cuddling with.. Sincerely..
The colored words reflect what I'm feeling. I sat in my car at the carpark for 4 1/2 hours crying.

The Key Which May Not Open

2007-08-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

Referring to the last post, do you actually realize that learning to love the person you found is terribly hard?

Should there be a time limit for learning to love?

When you finally learned to love that person (which may take like an eternity), is it guaranteed that the person would still want to love you? Would I be slapped with "too bad, too late.."?

The movie Moulin Rouge quoted, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return". Beautiful, definitely beautiful, but I don't seem to grasp that quote now. I have way too many interpretations for that short quote.

Anyway, I like the soundtrack "Come What May" more than the movie itself. Powerful. 'Never knew I could feel like this', the first line of the lyrics says it all.

Isn't life getting too common? Don't we all need some highlights sometimes?

why D always makes me disappointed? it hurts sometimes.
hearing H talks about what our future will be like makes me happy, but one part of me is afraid, what if that's just an empty talk?

"Did I Marry the Right Person?"

2007-08-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

I was checking my emails and friendster (the two things I normally do when I'm on the internet) today when a bulletin post from my friend Suryani Chua caught my eyes.

I don't normally read bulletin posts, especially those with subjects like "I'm bored", "100 questions", and/or "Please repost this, or else you'll have 7 years of bad luck".

Rubbish! All rubbish!

Who would want to know who's the last person you called/smsed before you go to bed? or what's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? or calculate how much you cost by giving a price tag on things like "had sex", "got arrested" (in case you're wondering, it's $25 and $10 respectively), and the stupid one, "cried yourself to sleep" ($0.50), I think tears cost more than a mere 50 CENTS!

Maddening to know that some people actually responded to those questions and repost them again. Even worse, I was one of those "some" people... (forgive me, I'm no longer with those "some" people anymore hehe).

Anyway, the bulletin posted by Suryani bears "Did I Marry the Right Person?" as the subject.

Tell me it's not interesting and you won't be tempted to open it......... *getting ready to throw a rock at your face*

It is interesting and indeed an eye opener. Here's what it's about:

(as it is in the bulletin)

Did I marry the right person?

This is a very good article.
Read it. Those who are still single may learn something from here.
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
on your mind.
Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.
In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.
In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything.
That's why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say,"I was swept of my feet."
Think about the imagery of that expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy.
It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens),
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you
nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship,
but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,
"Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once
had,
you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages break down.
People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
INFIDELITY is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or
abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.
But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE
IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
It'll NEVER just happen to you.
You can't "find" LASTING love.
You have to "make" it day in and day out.

That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy.

And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or
without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically
stronger,
certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws,
the results are predictable...

you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"...
Not just a feeling. ***

So, there it is.. Isn't that very enlightening? I find it really good.

What's Been Going On

2007-06-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing much...

Planned to post pictures from Leavenworth trip during Memorial Day, but havent got the time to do it. It's pretty hard to make myself wait for the pictures to upload. Maybe when I have nothing else to do besides shaking my leg then I ll post the pictures.

I went to Vancouver last week during my one week break and I hate it! That was the one trip I did not enjoy at all. That was the one trip where I wished to go home every second I was there. But the shopping was pretty well.. It's sort of a change from boring and always the same shopping malls in Seattle. And that's the one trip I hope I will never ever have to go through again. Just say, a big bad bastard was there, alright..

Great! A new abbrev, BBB, which stands for, of course, Big Bad Bastard (from now on lets call it "triple B"), one abbrev which I have used a lot lately is HLB, which stands for Horny Little Bastard. Hahaha I just happen to have a friend which reacts to anything seNsual. Mind the N.

Romance-wise, I am still single, and I guess will still be for some more time. I m confused here. Would someone please help this confused little girl????

I am getting depressed. Especially, knowing that some friends I knew are tying the knots already, some are attached, some has someone special, and I am still single. I am even losing my sister to someone else. BBB!. *singing Akon's Mr Lonely*

Hmm, on second thought, I m not that lonely. I am stepping on two boats right now... If you know what I mean. If not then too bad, go figure out yourself, don't ask me cause I dont like to explain certain things.

"I deleted a paragraph here which I thought was unnecessary. If you read it forget it, if you did not read it, you're lucky because that means I dont have to kill you hahaha Just Kidding"

Anyway, I m finishing my college soon. Yayayay!

Portland Trip

2007-04-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

I went to Portland with some friends during the one week break. Didn't do anything much but we had some fun hehehe.. Some pictures to share ;p

The bored and sad people who had nowhere else to go but a park in Portland.. (Sorry, I really forgot the name of the park)

One of the purpose of coming to the park was to get one of our ride photographed :D

The chauffeur with his ride.. (psst, just between you and me, they're (Xp) dont they? hahahha, just kidding).

The Fabs on the gate towards the Japanese Garden (at the park).

Stairway to heaven..

Stairway, stairway and more stairways......

BAH! The Japanese Garden was closed! Stairway to disappointment that was... But we still wanted to take pictures, (I have no eyes, and nose in the picture, scary!).

Next stop was the Multnomah Falls. The drive to the Falls was fantastic!

It was nice and freezing there... Regy was wearing an absolutely wrong costume hahaha.

Group Shot at the Multnomah Falls.

Hehehe ;p.

The Crew. One of my favourite picture from the trip.

Supposed to be a nice pic but the orb on my face, ugh..!

Laalaalaa Woooo!

It felt like raining there...

Did I mention that it felt like raining AND windy? (Btw, I closed my eyes coz water from the fall at the back kept on "attacking" my eyeballs).

I think this girl is sweet. Agree?

Whatever you want to call them.. Twin dongs? Brokeback? Anything you say.... haha.

COOL!

We're the angels..

Look at the expression on Hendy's face... Go figure! He seems to be in some pain hahaha.. It's another fav pic from the trip.

We're tired but guess what lifted our spirits back? Saburo!!

ISAUW Ski Trip....

2007-01-19T00:43:00.000-08:00

Went for a ski trip at Stevens Pass last week... It was fun all along until I fell down at the carpark on my way back to the bus... Ironic!

Posing for the camera

With Regina.

Listening to instructions...

Practising to walk....

I was the only one who falls all the time in my group..... Another embarassing thing is I never knew how to get up by myself...

My instructors and groupmates left me alone in the middle of the snow as I couldnt help myself to get up and continue... I was sad... but fortunately, Kevin was around and so he accompanied me and helped me to get back on my feet.. Wheeeee!

Resting after the tiring, fun, harmless FALLS!

In the bus on the way back... I couldnt sit straight as per normal... I fell on black ice and hurt my bum.. It was a harmful and not a fun fall... It still hurts until now that I m posting this...

I walked funny then........................

Masquerade at the Chapel Bar

2007-01-17T19:19:00.000-08:00

There was a Masquerade event last Sunday at The Chapel Bar and here are a few pics... Event pictures are mostly taken by Andrew Vous, see more at his website www.vous.us..

The Chapel Bar, small but enticing isn't it?

The masked dancer..

Another dancer..

I like this pic of the dancer.. Nice work Andrew!

I think Dennis is cool!! He IS GOOD!

The Organizers..

Me and DOLL, my great sister.. *muach*

With Jason the black masked man.. Ha-ha!

With Vera..

With the photographer himself... Sad to say, but, I think this picture is kinda ruined... Oh, by what? By my ARM! Look at how big it is!! Doll said it looks more like a bouncer's arm than a girl's.. Anyone has any noose?? I have the urge to hang myself all of a sudden... Anyway, my arm is not that big in real, alright...

Let's define big here..... Naaah! Forget it. Let's move on..

Here are some extra pictures..

Trying to act funny!

Evil Doll always up to no good...

Trying to act pretty... *giggles*

"Get it off!! Get it of!! GET IT OFF!!"

The Bad Doll, guilty as charged, and the confused little me at the back...

Cutely annoying and proud of it!

Love this photo..

Thinking of printing this out and put it on my BARE wall... Love you sis! *CHUP CHUP*

It's a wrap!
Hungry.... and PEACE!

New Year Dinner with Cousins

2007-01-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

I really think that roads in Jakarta should never be lined for lanes..... People just dont give a damn about the lines anyway... Why waste taxpayers money on the paint???

Mom and Dad wish to remain anonymous hehehe..

Anyway, Happy New Year Everyone!!

Still Pictures

2006-12-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

Somehow, lately, I found that posting photos on my blog is much more enjoyable for me, so picturessssss!

I made the heart myself.

The Girls

The Group

Me and Danny at Queen Anne. Beautiful view of Seattle.

I fell asleep on the couch while watching TV. I LOVE LIFE!! (at least, mine haha)

Snow Effects --- HA!

2006-11-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

Snows are so thick today... Danny's car got stuck somewhere on his way to my place. Edwin said people from my block tried to get their car out of the carpark by accelerating as fast as they could but to no avail. They shelved the idea of going out eventually. Edwin's car sled down the ramp too. Even after he stepped on the brakes and pulled the handbrakes. Dangerous situation!

The funny one is Regina. She told me she had to get out of her car, shoved the snows in front of her car with HER HANDS then she can move her car.

Crazyy! I wonder how am I going to pick up my sister later tonight at her school in downtown.

Plus another annoying thing.. The phone network seems to be having some problems too. Had a hard time trying to call people.

The view from my apartment window..

All covered in snow.. I wanted to go out and take pictures of the road condition but too lazy hahaha.. Too cold.

By the way, seems like I'm turning into a lazy bum! I have a hard time getting out of bed everyday.

World peace!

Snowy Snowy Snow!

2006-11-27T02:07:00.000-08:00

It was snowing yesterday, so my sis, Jason n I went to have a little fun outside our apartment building...

We were kinda excited... Never knew throwing snow balls is a fun thing to do hahaha..

I hope it will continue to snow tomorrow, that way, I wont have to go to class YAY!..

Just Some Pics

2006-11-26T05:13:00.000-08:00

Been long since I posted anything, and I still have nothing to tell, so I'm posting the last few pics I got from my phone..

Here goes,

My sis n moi at Pacific Place,

My pretty sister... MUACK!

My Rabbit's tire...

Damn freaky... fortunately I was alright..

The view outside my apartment..

This is the only pic I have from my trip to Vancouver.. with Michael at a karaoke.. (forgot the name of the place... korean owned though)

With Utomo at Ibiza... the only pic I have at the fall bash >.<

Madman called Jason...

Mad sister...

I am not mad...

I love the white hat but madman beat me to it and gave me the weird blue one... not happy!

That's all I got to show.. I'll try to update again soon hehehe.. Ciao!

Fall Fall Fall

2006-09-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

For once I feel that I m no longer in Singapore or Jakarta... I m in Seattle, YES!

What gave me the reminder was this..

Beautiful isn't it? I mean where in Singapore or Jakarta can you find a tree looking so fine like that?? Tell me! Where?? Let me tell you, "NOWHERE".

The picture was taken while I was stopping for the traffic light.

I was feeling jolly good while driving home this afternoon, the driving scenery from Lake city to Shoreline was damn beautiful.. Yellow and orange (and some actually look golden) leaves falling from the trees.. Showering the cars (including mine) that passed by the roads.. So serene and BEAUTIFUL!

I feel like a ermm... a princess!!

Yea yea... Go ahead and laugh at the last sentence.. Laugh your head off!

By the way, let's digress a little, I noticed that some people actually rolled their eyes when I claimed that I "feel like a princess".. Why is that so? I mean.. Is there a big difference between a princess and me? Lets use her as a picture of a princess (or your perception of one or whatever..)

Look at her.
We're both females.
We got everything we need to be a woman.
She has a big tiara, I can buy a big tiara too.
She's wearing a nice dress, I can buy and wear a nice dress too.
She has big eyes, I can max out the opening of my eyes so that my eyes will pop like hers.
She has a great smile and flash it generously, well, call me a looney but I love to smile for no reason to anyone too.
She's attractive, ok maybe I often attract the wrong kind of people at the wrong time, but hey, I'm still able to attract people....
She's charming, ummm..., maybe I am if I remember to put on my retainer every night.
She looks gentle, well she "looks" gentle right? Who knows if she's rowdy and crude like me?
She's slim, I m not fat am I? am I? AM I??
She's tall,....... well alright, I'm not tall. Petite has their own advantage you know...
She has a great figure, I errr... a little on the less side but.... anyway, let's not digress anymore.

I m not cut out to be a princess, happy?

Great!

SHUT UP! Now I'm not in the mood to blog anymore... Dream-like princesses should be drowned!!! AAARRGHH!

When Too Much is Too Much... When?

2006-09-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

Really, when? Honestly, I just can't tell.

Now I have a friend telling me (in anger) that even animals have more feelings than me.

All that because I kept on making fun without realizing that I'm actually hurting someone's feeling. Hahaha. Ok, maybe I shouldn't put "hahaha".

I meant no harm dude. Why be angry? I wasn't the only one. I know. It must be personal then huehehehe. Ok, so is that a wrong spot for a "huehehehe" too?

Where have all the sense of humor in the world gone to? Being here in Seattle for half a year is rusting mine badly too.. AARON LIM MIN CAI! Do me a favor! If you're reading this, open another browser right now and do some research about cloning!! I need you cloned asap!! I have a request though.. If you can custom made your clone, like those custom made babies those people are freaking creating, Aaron, can you pick a good looking hunk's genes to be your physical form?

Positively, let's make the world a better place, let it be dwelled by good looking people with a super great sense of humor like yours..

Uh oh, am I being insensitive and superficial?

So actually, when is something, somehow, too much? I really can't tell..

Why be angry when we can just laugh about it? Why am I the only one (maybe Aaron too) who can laugh at practically everything?

Am I really worse than an animal?

Anyway, school is starting tomorrow.. Weird time of the week to begin the quarter. Why not Monday?

P.S. I m laughing while typing this entry.. Someone (*wink*) told me I should not laugh when I know someone is telling me that an animal has more feeling than I am, but I just cant help seeing the humor in those words. Can't you see the humor? You can't?... Too bad then.. Maybe you're still above animals hahaha.

Oh Laa Laaa!!

2006-08-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

This might sound crazy but I just want to tell the truth, nothing but the truth.. Alright??

A few days ago I noticed someone I know had a vein running across his ankle...

"Wheew! What so great about that?" You may ask. You are free to think that I'm somehow retarded to go around noticing people's ankle. But..........

Well, like this, first of all, I DID NOT notice his ankle on purpose... I just happened to see his ankle, AND noticed that he has a vein which clearly running across his ankle..

So, I honestly stared at it for about 3 seconds and then I looked away. Only one thing was on my mind at that very instant.

You want to know what was on my mind???

Let me tell you... I think that friend of mine has a damn sexy ankle!!

Alright so you think I'm weird... but hey! dont you ever say things like "Oh hell!! Look at her eyes/nose/cheek etc... I love her eyes/nose/cheek etc!!" It's about the same, it's just that what you're finding sexy is something so obvious while what I found sexy was an ankle.

So, still, I think I'm not weird at all. No matter what you guys think hahaha!

Anyway, I really do find a vein running through an ankle is extremely sexy.. Just imagine that yourself. But please.. Imagine an ankle with a vein running across it on a NICE, SLENDER LEG!!

Just forget it if you're picturing it on a leg which looks like a hairy, gigantic whatever-ugly-and-thus-not-mentionable thing..

Anyway, just a note to my friends.. Please do not go around noticing our common friends' ankles alright... It's kinda freaky..

Peace!!

Spring Cleaning (Summer..)

2006-07-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

I cleaned my apartment thoroughly today!! I vacuumed every inch of the floor, scrubbed my bath tub, washed the toilet bowl, and made my sink sparkle hehehe... I freed many of my stuffs from dust too! I'm so happy that my house is now CLEAN!

But because of all that cleaning I did, I missed my meals. I was hungry and tired.. My back is breaking.. But I am happy, it was fun... I think I enjoy house cleaning hehehe.. Maybe..

Ok.

Today, as usual, I slept through my Philosophy class planning to wake up only for Maths, but hey guess what?!, I almost slept through maths too!! If not for my sister who asked me, "Dont you have mid term test at 9am today?" I would have missed my math mid term.

Unfortunately for me. I might as well sleep through the whole midterm test. Firstly, I got into the class about 15 mins late, because of that, I had to sit right infront of the teacher. Secondly, when I flipped through the test paper, my hand trembled... I dont even know how to do question one!!

To cut story short, I fail that maths midterm for sure!! See? Might as well sleep at the comfort of my room...

Peace Ms Hancock! Peace!! What's with the midterm today?? Hahahaha... My maths teachers are always interesting...

This is Good!!

2006-06-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

My young and beautiful aunt sent me this via email. This is good and funny!! Learn, people!

My Random Thoughts at 11pm

2006-06-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

I've been going to Marinepolis Sushiland almost daily and been eating their sushi like there's no tomorrow.

I think this one-week holiday is absolutely TOO-SHORT to do anything. Especially if I'm starting my day on late afternoons everyday.

My spring grades are not terrific, but at least they're not horrific. I still pass all classes.

My apartment does not give, even the slightest, homey feeling. But at least it doesnt smell.

My husband needs an oil change like NOW!! But my appointment with the garage is on Saturday at 13.20. Poor Hubby...

The mirror keeps on showing signs that my hair is getting uglier by day.

I crave for sushi every few hours. So is Dina. She's like my sushi partner now.

I love the steamed clams at BluWater.

I finished reading the book "Five People You Meet in Heaven", DOLL (my sister) said the book is supposed to give me a good feeling, it didn't give me any feeling at all.

DOLL has been really cute at night for the last two nights. She promised to clear the apartment from all her waste papers during her 3-weeks break. Let see if she can keep this one promise haha.

I love Jesus, I love DOLL, I love my Mom and Dad, I love all my friends, I love the world. But above all (and below Jesus ;P) I love my self the most!!!!

WORLD PEACE!

Agony

2006-06-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

The misery of having a beautiful and wonderful sister:

When almost all my friends begin to fall for her one by one, and I'm not sure who to root for.

I don't want to see friends turn to foes. Each and every friends I have are a dear to me.

PMS Mode is ON

2006-05-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

I love being alone. I love my car more than any other nonliving possessions I have, therefore I'm calling it and treating it as my husband.

Gosh! I think my husband is being henpecked by me everyday haha!

Being alone and loving my car are two, absolutely different thing, but I just want to say it here at the same time.

Been very sensitive lately. Lashed at almost everyone around me for almost no reason.

I miss Mom.

I feel really strange when my MALE friends say, "I miss going shopping with you..". I felt really happy when they called to say, "Where are you? Let's eat sushi again today!"

Strangely, I miss Nick, Lewis, and Aaron.

I miss-- "Hey I crave for sushi!! My girlfriend doesn't like sushi.." and "Can we go? Like now?", by Aaron;

"Wanna go to Spageddies? or Pasta Cafe?" and "There's this shirt/shoe I want to buy, you see nice or not" and "Yo! No way! SO UGLY!", by Nick;

"Sister.. Why so naughty naughty?" and "Sister.. Why never sleep sleep? So late already.." and "Hey! It's not dirty/porn, it's artistic, ok.." by Lewis;

I wonder why my FEMALE friends are all passive. Hard to remember what fun things we had together before.

I miss them all anyway.

I'm tired.

Miss-So Soup

2006-05-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know it's Saturday nite, and surely invites and temptations are rife, but I decided to stay at home and be nice.

At last, for the first time since I moved in here, I used my rice cooker to COOK RICE. I used it to steam dimsums only before. The rice cooker worked pretty well haha.

Anyway, I just realised how limited my cooking utensils are. And I'm so out-of-ingredients to cook practically everything.

I made miso soup. I had the miso paste. I had the (extremely yummy!) seaweed, but I DID NOT have the soft tofu!

I wanted to have square cut soft tofu in my miso soup!!!

I need a soup ladle as well. I have two in my kitchen already, but one is oversized and the other one is too undersized. I need another cooking pot too. My sis wanted to make her spaghetti but she had problems finding a pot to cook it since the only cooking pot in da house has my miso soup inside haha.

Maybe we should just leave the house and have some fun outside. It's Saturday night!

**anyway, we didnt go out. my sis and I are too lazy to change out of our pajamas already haha